EDIT: I want to honor the resilient part of me and, against all immediate inclinations, still get the “1 month sober” post out there.
Reminder to self: Don’t give up. Even if you feel shitty, what follows remains true on a factual level.
EFFECTS OF ONE MONTH ALCOHOL FREE
- .Lots and lots of free time in the mornings and evenings (challenge: how to fill that time)
- Exercising WAY more (mostly to fill the time). Trying new sports.
- No more drunken binge eating
- Lost 6 lbs effortlessly (while still allowing myself treats)
- Feeling fitter, stronger physically. Setting and facing new physical and psychological challenges, such as slowly mastering HANDSTAND:
- Increased self-esteem and self-worth (proud of still being sober)
- Increased self-confidence (E.g. from being able to socialize without a drink: sober courage is real)
- Decrease in feelings of “I need a drink to survive x”
- Suddenly gained access to buried emotions that were previously blocked out by drinking
- Therefore able to do intense therapeutic work with said emotions: personal growth on a deep, identity-level.
- Despite intense mood swings, less depression (no chronic feeling of “everything is shit”, that drinking probably made worse).
- Despite intense emotions, overall increased ability in TOLERATING intense emotions (building strength in learning proper emotional regulation): NO LONGER AFRAID OF UNPLEASANT/DIFFICULT EMOTIONS. Know that I can handle them/they will pass
- Gained insight into the fact that drinking was (in great part) THE PROBLEM, not the solution to my problems
- Increased hope for the future, ability to let go and surrendering control to “the universe” or whatever is out there
- Increased desire to practice self-care and listen to self (identifying needs, taking a mental health break, etc.)
- Increased kindness and gentleness towards self.
- Spending more time doing healthy things that I enjoy and would put off while drinking. Eg – being in nature, evening meditations (no more excuses to drunkenly skip them)
Downsides (or rather, unpleasant aspects which still remain (FOR NOW)):
- Feelings of isolation
- Still have cravings
- Occasionally have FOMO when I think of people at the bar or while sipping alcohol free beer while others have IPAs. (must find AF IPA 🙂
- Addictive behaviors and reflexes still implemented and need to be closely monitored.
That’s all folks. Still on this f****g horse.