Day 160: Survived a Week in Mexico (Sober) !

Yeeeeesss ! Coming home at 1:30 am every night, spending evenings listening to crazy free jazz concerts, sitting in the audience sipping tea/water/coke …. My week long vacation in Mexico City was AWESOME !

I am soooo grateful : 

  • To be at a point in my life where “having fun/going out” and “drinking” are no longer synonyms. A few years/months ago it would have been extremely difficult to walk into rooms full of strangers or go out and not have a beer to hold onto for pleasure, courage, company or disinhibition. Now I just feel calm and composed no matter which social situation I find myself in. It feels like swimming, not like jumping into a terrifying pool. In fact, now that I am less anxious, I am even more sociable than I used to be (and I already was). People’s opinions don’t scare me anymore in these types of settings. 
  • To my partner, who doesn’t really drink anymore either, and sipped all that tea/water/coke with me. He was so amazing on stage every night (yes, I’m a complete groupie when it comes to his music. But believe me – it’s soooOooo deep, he’s a prodigy of sorts (no joke) … I fall in love with him every time he plays. Ok, romantic rant over). Long story short: I love that we are on the same page with wanting to experience life without a crutch. Who needs alcohol when music and beauty and connection with others can transport you to other worlds ? 
  • To the Mexican people, for coming up with the gorgeous concept of Agua Frescas (I don’t know if it’s a specifically Mexican invention, but this was my first time hearing about agua de Jamaica, de Horchata, etc. They were DELICIOUS and really turned the boring old nonalcoholic drinks into a real festive treat.
  • To the Mexican people again, for liking super watery beers which I kind of hated anyway so I didn’t feel like I was missing out on much on the beer front. 
  • To the Mexican people in general. Just because. They’re so warm and kind and created a generous, safe atmosphere in which I never really even felt the desire to drink. Once again, I am surprised by how little people drink compared to what I used to imagine they did (or compared to the people I used to spend my time with). It’s been months since I have spent any real time with a *drunk* person. It’s like all those drunken nocturnal friends have disappeared into the night and vanished. They used to be everywhere, and I used to be one of them 🙂 Now I go to sleep earlier, and when I do stay out late, people are weirdly sober (or reasonable drinkers) and I don’t know where all the really drunk people are anymore. Even all these intense crazy late-nighter musicians don’t really seem to drink much. What used to be the norm for me has become the exception.

Long story short, we had a beautiful time. I met so many beautiful people, with such deep souls and such a powerful, intense history, such sensitive aesthetics, such acute political and social awareness, and such big hearts… it made me want to move to Mexico 🙂 

The down side of this whole “victorious” post is that one afternoon I smoked a cigarette. So did my boyfriend. We did it together: we bought two single cigs on the street and “mindfully” (LOL buuuuuullshit) smoked them while drinking this traditional cocoa drink at a cafe terrace. It was like a strange ritual, I don’t know what got into us. But I retrospectively regret doing it because it opened up the addiction door again for me and woke the cigarette monster – I should have refrained. I must remember to stand my ground and not use other people to justify my addictive behaviors). HOWEVER, I am trying my best to not let black and white thinking lead me back to smoking a pack a day. That’s the other side of addictive thinking that I am trying to let go of now that my daily life has changed. It used to be “I slipped = I suck = I must go all the way and fuck up completely”. Now that I have a bit more experience with “renunciation” -as the buddhists say-, I can push back: “Hell no ! It happened. What is done is done. It’s in the past. It doesn’t need impact the future. Now I dust myself off and keep going like I was before. End of story”. I hope I live up to my standards lol. But the “Never take another puff” people are right: this dopamine shit fucks you uuuuuup so fast. Sorry for the swear words 🙂 

What I get from this little trip abroad (apart from the joy at having discovered a new slice of the world, and the relief at having relaxed for a bit from the PhD work) is that it really feels incredible to have arrived to the point where I prefer not drinking over drinking most of the time. Yes: Most of the time. It’s been 5 months and 6 days, and I still get the occasional IPA craving. But then it passes. The real blessing is this “uuurgh, actually, no thanks… I have no desire to feel the hazy sloppiness of inebriation, thank you very much” feeling, which pops up whenever I imagine what it would be like to down a pint or three. It’s a life changer, this feeling. Like an antidote to cravings. It’s not a “thou shalt not drink” command that you impose upon yourself. It’s a FEELING of quasi-repulsion that comes from the body. For me, that makes ALL the difference. It’s physical, natural – not imposed by reason. A sense of “been there, done that, not really interested anymore”. During the early days/weeks of sobriety I didn’t feel this yet. It was mostly intellect and willpower dictating the rules, while I did my best to navigate the frustration of quitting and the feelings of deprivation/ emotional rollercoaster of living life without a filter. But now there is nothing much to fight or resist. I can do what I feel like, and I feel like staying clear headed. Staying present with what is. Staying here, now. I PREFER this clarity, not because I should but because it FEELS better. This is a true revolution/revelation in my mode of being in the world. I hope this feeling sticks around and helps me strengthen what once was a “resolution” and gradually morphed into a new way of life. 

(Aaaaand if the cravings hit too hard, I know I always have the nonalcoholic IPAs that I can try if I really miss the taste. But I still haven’t tried any, so that must mean something). 

Ok voila, that’s all folks.

Hang in there! 

Xxx

Anne

Published by nomorebeer

Learning how sobriety helps you ENJOY life.

24 thoughts on “Day 160: Survived a Week in Mexico (Sober) !

  1. Yes! Preferring clarity because it FEELS better. I love it. It is such a different experience, traveling when sober. There might be some flighty emotions here and there, but you feel like you’re really taking in and participating in the sights and experiences of a new place! Glad you had a great time!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Another fabulous post… Anne, you are spiritually on FIRE!!!!! 🌟🌟🌟 just loved so much about this, the gratitude, the “mindfully smoked/bulllllshit” cigarette, the swearing, the apologies for the swearing, the photos (who are the people btw? 🧐😍), the details, the generals. Just loved it all. Thanks for sharing this joyfully sober holiday with us. Much love ❤️xoxoxo Nadine

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Sober Since Covid

Traversing Sobriety: Tales, Tips, and Tricks

The No Wine Shine

The ups downs and rounds and rounds of going alcohol free

Without the whine

Exploring the heart of what matters most

Laura Parrott Perry

We've all got a story to tell.

Natural Skin Care Love

Naturally Beautiful Skin ... At Any Age!

Moderately Sober

Finding my contented self the sober way

Wine to Water

Choosing to Live Rather than Exist

Mounzer Darwich

Be dedicated...................... Blog for free debate and dialogue in the affairs of society, family and people

New Beginnings

My Journey to Staying Sober.

mydegreeme

Forever Student, Never PhinisheD

Drug, Alcohol, Gambling, And Eating disorder Recovery https://localbitcoins.com/buy-bitcoins-online/?ch=1c2wt

Drug and alcohol recovery, Help for addiction, alcoholism, eating and gambling disorders, free help for drug addiction and alcoholism,free resource guide for drug addiction and alcoholism

The Wandering Enigma

The experience, strength and hope of a recovering addict struggling with the disease of addiction.

lifebeyondhedonism.com/

Celebrating the beauty in sobriety

100 Days to Sparkle

Aiming for 100 continuous days of sobriety in order to reclaim my sparkle 

Letitgocoach

Never Settle. Don't even think about it.

SoberJo

My experiences on getting and staying sober one day at a time

fromwretchedtorecovery.com

Alcoholism Recovery Blog

Holistic Steph

musings on healing, wellness and self-love

Reasons to Live For

Here to give you lots of reasons to live

Ron Tamir Nehr

Self Empowerment & Business Coaching

Simplify Tasks

Want to learn the simple way?

Wake up!

Operation Get A Life

Storm in a Wine Glass

I used to drink and now I don't

Finer Yoga

striving to empower others

Stacking the Bones

The journey of self-healing through yoga, meditation, and writing-it-out.

To Write or not to Write and What to Write

#shortstories #thoughts #reflections

Drunky Drunk Girl

A blog about getting sober

saania2806.wordpress.com/

Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

Roaming & Recording Yogi

roaming around the world and recording it all along the way

Walking in Sober Boots

Footfalls on a Path of Recovery

Ditching the Wine

Getting myself sober; the ups and downs

A Multitude of Musings

On the Way to Wholeness

Pointless Overthinking

Understanding ourselves and the world we live in.

GettingSoberGal

Just a gal trying to get sober

msnewleaf

my life without alcohol

ainsobriety

Trying to ace sober living

Emotional Sobriety Means Healing Mind, Body, and Soul

Your Childhood Holds the Key to Who You Are. Codependency is the Engine Under All Addictions.

The SMILF Diaries

Fueled by redbull and crude humor

Faded Jeans Living

By Dwight Hyde

boozebrain

a joyous, grateful and muddled recovering alcoholic & his ramblings

The State Of Being Sober

Margot's Movement. A journey of sobriety and saying no to the Sauvignon. Once, and for all.

%d bloggers like this: