Day 235: Little Rays of Quarantine Sunshine

BRAG POST ALERT! This morning I reflect upon how sobriety can lead to dramatic change in reshaping your self-image.

In the past, I would alternate between narcissistic pride and hardcore self-deprecation, and there would be little room for anything in between, such as authenticity, feelings of self-worth, honest vulnerability, etc. Accepting a compliment, humbly stating a positive fact about myself, being satisfied with who I was, spontaneously offering my opinion or insights were very difficult, if not impossible goals to reach.

Today can feel how much my self-esteem has improved and how far away the feelings of self-hatred have gone. Of course, there are still plenty of times when I catch myself being too hard on myself. But hatred? Nope. never again.

Today I don’t feel like writing interminably about myself or the world, so instead, I’ll just share a few pictures of things I have seen, made or done these couple of weeks (outside of the 10 daily hours of PhD work, that is) which have either made my quarantine days brighter and/or made me feel proud 🙂

1. SCARY YOGA CHALLENGES !!!

I faced my fear of “death by crashing to my face” and made good progress on some asanas :

Peacock pose! (after a couple of crashes to the floor)


Headstand without the wall ! (I’m still afraid to lift my legs up but I’m getting there)
King Pigeon for the first time! (I felt very very vulnerable and strange afterwards, the chest opening/back bending was SUPER INTENSE, especially as I am very short (aka. have to reach back pretty far). But man, did I feel proud ! Also my cat is helping.

2. COOL THINGS ON WALKS:

The last of the cherry blossoms
Never lose hope!

Someone left these out next to a park bench…. not sure if it’s for humans, maybe deer?
People’s creativity never ceases to amaze me.

3. BAKIIIIIIING

My humble (aka. hyper-competitive) entry in my family “online fruit tart quarantine competition”. I have a competitive family 🙂

Baked myself a single cupcake for dessert one evening. SOLO BAKING is the best

and last but not least…..

4. QUARANTINE CATS

Fern the cat. She has been instrumental in helping me enjoy solitude all year long. I love her.

My boyfriend’s car, Rumi, in her native jungle. I love her too.
But OBVIOUSLY, Fern wins. Forever.

That’s all folks !

I hope you find moments to enjoy and connect with yourself and loved ones if you are lucky enough to have them around.

I am grateful to be sober every single day of this quarantine.

Hang in there everyone !!

xxxx Anne

Published by nomorebeer

Learning how sobriety helps you ENJOY life.

22 thoughts on “Day 235: Little Rays of Quarantine Sunshine

  1. I love love these photos and your yoga poses are just amazeballs Anne. I’m well impressed. You look so toned and supple. I think if I attempted anything like that I’d do myself some serious damage. Hats off to you girl.
    Xxx

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  2. Love your photos! I’ve been practicing headstands! Other poses look a bit tricky! you look amazing and very bendy! the cats are both gorgeous. More time with the pets is a def lockdown positive. Also love and relate to ‘oscillation between narcissistic pride and hardcore self loathing’ – brilliant phrase and so true and so nice to not do that anymore! Glad you’re doing ok xxx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. hahahah yes, weirdly no amount of “safe” falling has cured my fear yet. I suspect it has much deeper psychological ramifications and symbolic weight, linked to my trouble in “letting go” of control and facing fear of the unknown. But every grain of sand counts 🙂 I will try to channel the joy of the 8 year old like you 🙂 xxx Anne

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  3. some how just now seeing this ..great moves.. i surely need to get back to some exercise..motivation is really bad lately…just when i think the sun is coming out, something else happens…but staying positive! Hugs!

    Like

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