So many of us, either on the sobriety journey or on a more general self-development quest, think in terms of positive changes and “to do” lists that help us stay on our paths of growth and self-improvement. But today, in the Simplify your Life section of Quora, I found a cool idea that I had never thought about because it takes things from the opposite angle, so I thought I’d give it a go.
10 [shitty] things I stopped doing in my life:
1) Stopped drinking (discovered the joys of sober living)
2) Stopped apologizing all day long (started acknowledging my right to exist and take up space)
3) Stopped chasing love at all costs, including self-abandonment (started to love myself and be ok being alone. Started individuating when in a romantic relationship)
4) Stopped watching TV at age 17 when I loved out of my parents’ house. (Started a Netflix subscription, social media accounts and a blog… Basically, switched to millennial TV. ^^)
5) Stopped smoking (started exercising and discovered the joys of being able to breathe fully)
6) Stopped beating myself up so much and mindlessly engaging in self-abuse with negative self talk (started positive self-talk habits and inner child work)
7) Stopped running away from my emotions and hiding in my comfort zone (started to feel like it’s ok to cry/be sad/angry/anxious and learnt how to let those emotions move through me: started emotional regulation)
8) Stopped people-pleasing by systematically keeping my opinion to myself (started speaking up, even when it might lead to potential conflict)
9) Stopped considering my body as an “ugly” work-in-progress to be fixed at all costs so others would love me (started loving it here and now [THAT’s the real work in progress], started self-care practices like daily yoga, meditation)
10) Stopped hoping that my parents would change and finally meet my needs. (started to self parent and BE the person, GIVE the love I need(ed), to myself and others)
These are in no particular order, but have definitely changed my life.
I still bite my nails though. Nobody’s perfect! 🙂 What shitty things did you stop doing?