So many of us, either on the sobriety journey or on a more general self-development quest, think in terms of positive changes and “to do” lists that help us stay on our paths of growth and self-improvement. But today, in the Simplify your Life section of Quora, I found a cool idea that I had never thought about because it takes things from the opposite angle, so I thought I’d give it a go.
https://www.quora.com/q/simplifyyourlife__ni__=0&__nsrc__=4&__snid3__=9847308803&__tiids__=9354292
10 [shitty] things I stopped doing in my life:
1) Stopped drinking (discovered the joys of sober living)
2) Stopped apologizing all day long (started acknowledging my right to exist and take up space)
3) Stopped chasing love at all costs, including self-abandonment (started to love myself and be ok being alone. Started individuating when in a romantic relationship)
4) Stopped watching TV at age 17 when I loved out of my parents’ house. (Started a Netflix subscription, social media accounts and a blog… Basically, switched to millennial TV. ^^)
5) Stopped smoking (started exercising and discovered the joys of being able to breathe fully)
6) Stopped beating myself up so much and mindlessly engaging in self-abuse with negative self talk (started positive self-talk habits and inner child work)
7) Stopped running away from my emotions and hiding in my comfort zone (started to feel like it’s ok to cry/be sad/angry/anxious and learnt how to let those emotions move through me: started emotional regulation)
8) Stopped people-pleasing by systematically keeping my opinion to myself (started speaking up, even when it might lead to potential conflict)
9) Stopped considering my body as an “ugly” work-in-progress to be fixed at all costs so others would love me (started loving it here and now [THAT’s the real work in progress], started self-care practices like daily yoga, meditation)
10) Stopped hoping that my parents would change and finally meet my needs. (started to self parent and BE the person, GIVE the love I need(ed), to myself and others)
These are in no particular order, but have definitely changed my life.
I still bite my nails though. Nobody’s perfect! 🙂 What shitty things did you stop doing?
Xxx
Anne
I love love love all of this! Sending love.
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Thanks Amy 🙂 ❤ Sending big hugs right back at'cha xxx Anne
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I stopped being a music and film fascist. I’ve learned to be more accepting of other people’s appalling and frankly wrong choices. I still think they are wrong when they say “love actually” is a greAt film, I just don’t tell them. X
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LOL hear hear to number 2 🙂 As usual your comment made me burst out laughing xxx Anne
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That’s what I’m here for😀😘
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Love actually is a great film 😊
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Oh Claire you need help. Urgently. Without wishing to sound patronising , I’ll send you a list of films you have to watch. Hopefully with help you can get over your love actually affliction😉
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bahahahahaha
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It’s my favourite film 😉
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ahahahahaha!!! so awesome. but love. Actually. Is. All around us. Hehe ;))
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Please! 😉
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Love this Anne – you’ve come a long way! 😘😘
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This is great! I hit the link and got totally side-tracked from your post…. signed up and everything. 🙂 I didn’t even know about Quora, so, thank you! I’m cutting my cable cord next week. I have established a few guidelines for myself before watching the tube so as to avoid the drug-like-zoning-out effect the tele so easily achieves for me. Will I learn something? Will it make me laugh? (really important for this overly serious personality) or- Have I used my limit of 1 hour of “free time”- (where I give myself permission to very limited zone out sessions). Actually, reading is always much more relaxing for me. Sorry to go on and on Anne. PS Your ten things are almost my ten things! Great post!😘
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hahahaha don’t apologize, I love hearing people’s opinions and stories ! And congrats on cutting the cable cord if that’s something you feel you need to do 🙂 Funny how these 10 things and similar ones pop up for so many of us xxx Anne
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This is great. I love it. ❤️
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❤
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This is a great post Anne. I have given up a fair few shitty things but I have a few more to ditch too. Chocolate (though not shitty per se) has to go. No question , it’s a complete addiction and is doing me no favours. I think I might be better with a list of ten ( shitty ) people I have ditched or really should ditch. Now where do I start ….
❤️😘💕🤗
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hehehehe good idea, I will think about it in terms of people – I am sure my top 10 list will make me smile 🙂 anyway, baby steps 🙂 xxx Anne
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Indeed … teeny tiny baby steps …❤️
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Wow that is an awesome list Anne!!!! “2) Stopped apologizing all day long (started acknowledging my right to exist and take up space)” that one resonates particularly. It’s a biggie. Hugs ❤️
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❤ big hugs right back at you Nadine ❤
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